Be a sport!

There’s no better work out than watching your stars fight it out on TV, while you enjoy drinks and snacks on a lounge chair

The Giro d’Italia takes every ounce of stamina you never thought you had. It wrings you out like a dhobi-washed, rock-pounded, hand-squeezed bed sheet. The cycle race spread over days of steep mountain roads in the Alps is a triumph of willpower over suffering. Of pushing the limits of human endurance, and then beyond. Of forgetting your thirst in that head-down, leg-pumping climb. Of deep desire to plough right into those idiot fans jumping onto the cyclist track. Of pumping heart, ragged breath - till your legs cramp - from sitting on the sofa for hours on end, cheering till your throat collapses. Time to fix yourself a double chocolate milkshake. Competitive sport is not for the faint-hearted.

If done right, there’s nothing like sports to melt away the calories, the stress or whatever those other motivational speakers on YouTube are offering you.

Start with a warm-up. Turn down the lights. Sell a family heirloom to buy the most luxurious recliner lounge chair.

Pillows in place?

Blackout curtains?

Set the drinks and chips in an arc within arm’s reach. You don’t want to miss a wicket while on a trip to the fridge.

Rigorous daily training is the key. Train the kids to lie on the phone that you’re on another call. Train the dog to bring the chips without eating any. Train the doorbell to not ring.