Candelabra etcetera

Throughout the nation, youths are wandering about after DIY lessons in patriotism or holiness and making life miserable for all

My teenage daughter Xiaomi is very fond of watching DIY videos on phone. As a modern father, I am ok with that. What is troubling me — actually my entire family — is that she implements what she watches. The other day I couldn’t find my banian. Turns out she made it into a tube top by cutting off the shoulder straps and enlarging its holes. When my mother could not find her dentures, we realised it had become a “pink candlestand with yellow tiles”. Xiaomi had made the candle for the stand by melting my younger daughter Redmi’s crayons into a heart, which Xiaomi said would drive away the negative energy in the house. But there is no energy, negative or positive, left in the house. When I pointed this out, she threw a tantrum and locked me out of the favourite apps on my phone and I don’t know how to get them back. Since you read the mind of youth as nobody does, please help me handle her.

— Disturbed by Insane Youth