Valerie Bertinelli admits she ‘fumbled’ relationship with ex-boyfriend as she opens up on shame

Valerie Bertinelli shared relationship advice with her Instagram followers three months after her breakup with Mike Goodnough.

"When you feel hurt and wronged and know you deserve an apology but are being stonewalled by your partner because they’re feeling shame, maybe this can shift your thinking," she began her lengthy post. "How are you bringing it up? Are you only pointing out what they’re doing wrong, being hypercritical, and expecting them to just fix it? That could be making things worse. Change, real change, never happens through criticism, shame, or pressure. They most likely already feel all that. (I know when I f--- up, oof, do I feel shame)." Christina Dugan Ramirez is an entertainment writer for Fox News Digital. 

A post shared by Valerie Bertinelli (@wolfiesmom)

"When feeling attacked, a natural reaction is to shut down and get defensive and feel overwhelmed about changing behavior that may be a coping mechanism since childhood,"she continued. "They’ll feel judged and feel like they can’t get anything right and they won’t really hear you."