This B.C family worked for years to adopt a Ukrainian girl. Now she's trapped in a war zone

Holly den Ouden and her family were in the late stages of adopting a teenage girl from Ukraine when Russia invaded, halting the process and stranding 17-year-old Nastya in a war zone.

"We are very afraid. We're very scared every day for her safety," said den Ouden, who lives in Langley, B.C., with her husband Jeremy and two sons, aged 8 and 11. 

The family started the adoption process in 2019. They met Nastya that same year when she visited Canada through a program that places children with potential adoptive families. 

For now, she is safe in an orphanage in an area of Ukraine where there isn't yet any fighting. They've been able to stay in touch online. 

"She asks all the time, 'When can I come? When can I come home? When can I be with you?'" den Ouden said. 

"She doesn't have another family that is looking out for her, caring for her. There's no one else signing up to be her parents. It's us, that's it."

Ukraine has suspended its intercountry adoption program until further notice, in light of Russia's invasion on Feb. 24. In a release, the Permanent Bureau of the Hague Conference said the prohibition is to ensure no child displaced by the conflict can be adopted until the fate of their parents or nearest relatives can be verified.

The decision includes the estimated 100,000 children in orphanages and trade schools in the country, many of whom have ties to living family who are unable to care for them.

Under normal circumstances, the international adoption process is managed by provincial authorities in Canada, who perform rigorous checks on prospective adoptive families, including medicals, financial checks and home appraisals.

Approval is also required from Ukrainian authorities, in a multi-step process that can take years. Once an adoption is finalized, families must then apply to immigration authorities in Canada for citizenship or permanent residence for the child, and the documents necessary to travel.

Nastya visited Canada during the process, and the den Oudens were in Ukraine as recently as January. The adoption request has been approved by both Canadian and Ukrainian authorities, and the next step was a court appearance to formally take custody of the teenager, and then secure the travel documents needed to bring her to Canada permanently.

"We didn't get to finish that because then war broke out," den Ouden said.

While they are not legally Nastya's parents yet, den Ouden said it feels like being a parent "in all the ways that matter."

"We lay awake at night, worrying about her, praying for her constantly, talking to her all the time," she said.