I've Been In Pain For 25 Years. This Is What No One Tells You.

"I’ve lived in pain, sometimes completely debilitating pain, for the last quarter of a century."

I will be 40 in just a few short months, and I’ve lived in pain, sometimes completely debilitating pain, for the last quarter of a century.

I have a spine disease that is an advanced version of adult degenerative disc disease. I was diagnosed with the juvenile version — juvenile disc disease — when I was a teen, and it has progressed like a wildfire inside of my body throughout the years.

Living with chronic pain for 25 years has left me feeling used up, exhausted and “old before my time.”

When I say I know pain, I know it more intimately than any partner I’ve ever had. I know its folds and curves; I know the sound it makes buzzing through my body; and I understand the minute nuances in the various types of pain my body endures.

The structure of my spine is beyond compromised, and living with an invisible disease truly shows you how little anyone else is prepared to live a life of disability or how little the general public cares. How the systems in place that are set up to “help” us (i.e., health insurance) are really hellscapes of phone calls, letters and tearful pleading to be heard, all so you can receive appropriate and adequate care.