How to deal with your mother-in-law over the holidays based on her zodiac sign

Cozy fires are lit, the smell of pine is omnipresent, and the pressures to merge family and make merry is at its zenith.

Indeed, ’tis the holiday season when many a mother-in-law is given free range to socialize, criticize, wear bedazzled white to a winter wedding, offer cash incentives for break-ups, do toxic math and engage in nonconsensual (and milk-less) breastfeeding.

If you dread that woman — and her long-expired mammaries — you are not alone.

A report by iVillage once found that 51% of women would rather stay home and clean the house than listen to their mothers-in-law, 36% would rather visit a gynecologist, 30% would rather have jury duty, and 28% would prefer to either do their taxes or get a root canal — dental drilling presumably being preferable to unsolicited advice and searing judgment.

Good news for those of us fighting the good fight to be loved and accepted — research suggests it’s not your fault if your mother-in-law hates you.

Animosity between in-laws is likely due to the fact that they “do not choose to have relationships with one another,” but are forced into familial bonds as “unintended consequences” of their children’s romantic relationships, the study says.