Why gender-based violence in Toronto's Bangladeshi community often goes unreported

WARNING: This story contains graphic descriptions of intimate partner violence and attempted suicide.

For Afsana Rahman, the nightmare began immediately after her wedding in 2016.

She says her family had arranged her marriage to someone she barely knew during the holy month of Ramadan. On their first night alone, she says her new husband began behaviing in a way that scared her.

"I'm quite used to being a people's person …  and never had fear of people. But he's the first person I started fearing," said Rahman.

That night, Rahman says, he sexually assaulted her. She would go on to endure years of physical, sexual and verbal abuse at the hands of her husband in Bangladesh and in Toronto after they immigrated to Canada in 2018. She says a lack of support from family, cultural barriers and not knowing what resources were available to her prevented her from speaking out.

"I made a pact with myself that no matter what happens with me ... I won't allow anybody to know," said Rahman.

A new study by researchers with a Toronto non-profit called the Canadian Centre for Information and Knowledge is shedding light on gender-based violence against women in the Bangladeshi community during the pandemic and the long-term impacts it can have. The centre says through its outreach, it discovered the problem got worse in the community after COVID-19 struck in 2020. The study says among the 77 Toronto-area women who were surveyed, more than half reported experiencing violence and most didn't report it to the authorities. 

Rahman says her husband took control of all her social media accounts, her passport and bank accounts. She says he forced her to perform sex acts on camera, among other sexual demands. 

She says she lived in constant fear — unable to sleep. Two months later, she says she tried to commit suicide.

"In that moment, I couldn't take it. And I drank poison," said Rahman.

After she recovered, she says the abuse escalated to beatings. It wasn't until 2019 that she was able to get the help she needed.

The researchers say they began investigating the trends through focus groups, surveys and in-depth interviews with survivors and community agencies after noticing the uptick in reports of violence during the pandemic.

"Through our program and services, we have identified that not any research of this kind has happened within our community," said Touhida Choudhury, the centre's director.

Half of those surveyed said they were victims of domestic violence during the pandemic, and of that group, three-quarters said the violence happened in their homes.