She created an annual marathon to honour a brother who died by suicide
CBC
WARNING: This story contains details of suicide
It's a hot and humid day in July. A day where most people would seek shelter and a cold drink. For Tanya Joy, it's the perfect day for a trail run.
Joy says she needs to be on the trails. That's because five years ago her brother, Jody, died by suicide.
Getting out for a run, even in the heat, is her way of processing that loss.
"I have mixed emotions.… My heart actually hurts," said Joy.
"It's sad that he didn't get to live life longer and see more things and stuff. But at the same time, where I was five years ago to today is like night and day."
Joy said she fell in love with running when she was a small child and ever since then she has used the sport — and nature — to find stability in her life.
"Running, to me, is something that I have full control over," said Joy.
"It's just a space that I can go out there and be me. You can cry, or you can scream or laugh and you have the space to do it. It's very therapeutic."
Joy struggled with her mental health long before the loss of her brother. She grew up with a parent who battled addiction. Later in life, she survived sexual assaults and the trauma of multiple miscarriages.
Joy said in 2007, after her first marriage ended, she spiralled into a mental health crisis.
"I remember going home and not wanting to live anymore. Everything was dark and black and I wasn't scared," she said.
"I was more scared of living than dying, so I I overdosed on medication. Once I was OK they they put me in handcuffs and brought me to the Waterford hospital and I was in there for six days. It was awful. It was just awful."
Joy said when she left the hospital she immediately returned to running. After losing her marriage and her family, it was the one constant she could rely on. Over the years, she said, it also helped her find the strength to share her story with others.
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