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‘Safe words’ aren’t just for sex —they’re helping me become a better parent

‘Safe words’ aren’t just for sex —they’re helping me become a better parent

NY Post
Tuesday, January 21, 2025 6:43 PM GMT

Using safe words in the sack is a way many couples stay on the same page between the sheets.

But for Locke and Ashley Haman, their safe word, “sassafras,” has less to do with hot and heavy petting and more to do with effective parenting. 

“When one of us is having a hard time with the kids — we could be very legitimately frustrated or completely out of line and not our best moment — we use the safe word to tap one another out,” Haman, 38, a married dad of four from New Hampshire, told The Post. 

And it’s currently trending as the mother lode of all mom-and-dad hacks. 

The safe word strategy is neither “gentle parenting,” a laissez-faire approach that encourages permissiveness over punishment, nor “benign neglect,” which involves overly independent kids raising themselves without much adult intervention. 

Instead, safe words empower parents to collaboratively correct a child’s bad behavior without becoming irate or undermining one another. 

Read full story on NY Post
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