Polyamorous relationships are on the rise in Canada. The law is still catching up

You can have more than one friend at a time. You can love multiple family members equally.

So what's the difference if you're in a meaningful, consensual romantic relationship with more than one person at once? That's the general philosophy behind polyamorous relationships, and a new report says they're on the rise.

Steph Davidson, 41, a publicist in Toronto, said not only is she seeing more polyamorous people in her circles and on dating apps, but there's a wider social acceptance and understanding.

"My friends, when I first started dating someone who was non-monogamous, their immediate instinct was 'you deserve all of someone,'" Davidson told CBC News. "And now they're, like, 'I'm really happy for you, and this really seems to be a great fit for who you are and the way that you live.'"

Polyamory is a deliberate relationship structure where everyone can have as many romantic partners as they want, according to Egale Canada, a 2SLGBTQ+ advocacy organization. There is knowledge and consent with everyone involved, and people may live with one partner, multiple partners or no partners, explains the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association.

It's a form of consensual non-monogamy and one of the growing types of diverse families in Canada, notes a report from the Vanier Institute of the Family released last week.

The national independent think-tank, which is dedicated to understanding families and family life in Canada, cites a 2019 study from the Journal of Sex Research that says about one in five people in this country have practised consensual non-monogamy.

The Vanier Institute also notes that people who identify as 2SLGBTQ+ are more likely to have practised consensual non-monogamy than people who identify as heterosexual. That's echoed by Egale Canada, which explains that people in polyamorous relationships "are free to express their sexuality regardless of gender."

Davidson, who is polyamorous, has had an anchor partner for just under two years. (She prefers the term anchor to primary, which implies a hierarchy). They don't live together. In addition, she has several other relationships of various styles and depths.

Davidson identifies as queer, and while her anchor relationship is with a man, some of her other partners are women or non-binary. She said she currently has four partners, which includes her anchor, who also has multiple partners.

"There are different styles of polyamory. My partner and I tend to get to know each other's partners, we establish relationships with the other folks in their lives and spend time together, but that's not mandatory," she said.

"It's just what works for everybody involved and what's comfortable for everybody."

Despite the growing popularity, there's a "data gap" on polyamorous relationships since they're not included in the census, the Vanier Institute notes, and research is sparse. It says further research is needed for "strengthening understanding of polyamorous families and ensuring they are included in laws and policies."

While polyamory differs from open marriage — another type of consensual non-monogamy that generally involves one couple primarily committed to each other, with sex allowed outside that relationship — open marriage research gives insight into attitudes about relationships outside of a traditional partnership.