Parenting with ADHD can be overwhelming — but it also offers some 'gifts,' say experts

Audrey McKinnon remembers the hour she spent this month desperately imploring her 13-year-old son to wake up for school one weekday.

The communications freelancer in Prince George, B.C., could not understand "why he's fighting me on this." 

In fact, there was no school that day. And for days he had reminded her of that "multiple times."

"I completely forgot," the former CBC journalist, 37, said. "Have I been a forgetful parent and a disorganized parent? Yes, absolutely I have."

Last year, McKinnon was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Many things began to make sense, she says.

"Being late for things, rushing around, forgetting little things," she said. "The thing I've struggled with as somebody with ADHD is the emotional regulation.

"There's no reason to judge myself for that ... My child knows I'm there for him, I love him, and he can talk to me, those are the important things to me."

McKinnon is one of a growing cohort of parents being diagnosed with ADHD, a condition that affects people's executive functioning and ability to regulate their attention, emotions and impulses.

It's also one that's extremely common for both parent and child to have — at a rate of more than half, experts say.

"ADHD is highly heritable," said clinical psychologist Joanne Park, a postdoctoral research fellow at the University of Calgary whose research focuses on families with the disorder.

According to Park, ADHD can make struggles that parents face — such as paying constant attention to potential risks, remembering appointments, or coping with easily overwhelming emotions — even harder.

But that can also help them identify and empathize if their kids show similar symptoms.

"One of the biggest things from being treated for ADHD is being able to adopt a lot more patience in my parenting," said Kiri Vanderwel of Delta, B.C.