My Husband Was Cheating With A Man. So We Made An Unexpected, Life-Changing Decision.

"I had no idea what a mixed-orientation marriage was... until I suddenly found myself in one."

I stood at the edge of the pool with my toes gripping the cold stone. Treading water, my husband Stuart smiled encouragingly, patiently. We had been married for 27 years, and for most of that time, he understood that I just did not like being in the pool. For most summers when our children were young, we belonged to the neighborhood swim club. I would sit by the side of the pool, maybe dangle my feet in it, or slowly wade in on occasion to play with the kids. I made sure my children took swim lessons, and that they could fearlessly, joyfully cannonball off the diving board and splash with their friends while I cheered from the sidelines. Yet I never joined in. But there was something about this night. It was warm, and our Airbnb had an amazing pool with views of the Napa Valley hills and vineyards. I felt a sense of closeness and trust with my husband ― this weekend was a celebration of sorts for the last 18 months of work we’d put into our relationship, as we tried to build back intimacy after our marriage had essentially burned to the ground.