Love or benefits? Some people with disabilities face a choice

Jessica Gordon met her person in 2021.

It's a time in someone's life that's meant to be overwhelmingly exciting — but when she wanted to take the next step with her partner and live together, she had an awful realization.

Gordon is on provincial disability benefits because she has fibromyalgia and can no longer work as a massage therapist — and she learned she would lose those benefits as soon as she entered a common-law relationship. 

"I was horrified to learn that it would all be taken away," she told CBC News.

It's a problem that's far too common among people with disabilities and a factor that can lead many to avoid pursuing or entering relationships, say people with disabilities and their advocates.

"I learned that so many people either just hide that they have a partner altogether or stay single forever because they can't deal with lying," said Gordon, who lives in Victoria.

Right now, a person with a disability can receive up to roughly $1,400 per month in provincial benefits. But if they're married or common law and their partner makes more than $19,000 per year, the government starts to deduct those benefits.

Gordon says "this de-incentivizes the disabled person from working because it's collective how much you can earn."

Helaine Boyd, executive director for Disability Alliance B.C., said the benefit cut also has unfair and potentially unsafe consequences. 

"What it creates is a scenario in which the PWD [person with disabilities] becomes beholden to their non-disabled partner for their livelihood and well-being," she told CBC's On The Coast.

Brent Frain, a Victoria resident who hosts the PWD Allies podcast, said the laws are outdated and have held him back from relationships.

"I just haven't really found the right relationship because at the same time too, as many disabled people fear, that if you get into a relationship status …I would basically lose my income," said Frain, who is legally blind and was diagnosed with ADHD by his doctor in the 1990s.

He said many people he speaks to also avoid getting into a serious relationship or they lie about it when they do — and, for example, don't declare themselves part of a common-law couple.