Is it Rude To Ask A Guest To Take Their Shoes Off?

In many Asian American households, taking off your shoes is expected. Not everyone is a fan.

Who’s the rude one when a request to leave your shoes at the door is made: The host who asks or the guest who scoffs at the request?

That’s the issue at the center of a fiery debate on X (formerly known as Twitter) in the wake of The New York Times’ “Guide to Partying (Without Regrets),” published late last week.

Two entries in the guide took aim at hosts who ask their guests to take their shoes off before entering their homes.

“Please don’t ask people to take off their shoes when entering your apartment,” party planner Rebecca Gardner advised. “It’s rude.”

Chef Romilly Newman told the Times she thinks it’s ill-mannered, too. “When you invite people into your home, you need to let go. You can’t be like, ‘You can’t touch this’ and ‘You have to take your shoes off’ and ‘If you spill something, you are in trouble.’ Hosting is letting your guests enjoy themselves.”