In the face of anti-Asian racism, report finds some Chinese Canadians feeling 'wu nai' — helpless and hopeless

Before the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Pak-Kei Wong couldn't always tell when he was the victim of racism.

He often questioned if he was a victim of bad luck or circumstance. Anti-Asian racism was hard to discern, he said, let alone prove.

But that changed three years ago, after the first known infections were discovered in Wuhan, China. Wong, who lives in Montreal, says he was told to "go home" by a driver of a passing car, was lectured by a cashier at the supermarket for using "dirty" cash, and just a few months ago, was spit at and threatened by a man on a train.

It was when other members of the Chinese Canadian community came forward with similar stories that it fully hit home that those experiences were not a one-off, and that anti-Asian racism — present long before the pandemic — was to blame.

"It made me realize, 'No, this is not a you thing. This is a racism thing,'" said Wong, 41. 

"It made me feel less alone."

Wong, unfortunately, is not alone.

A report released Tuesday by The Chinese Canadian National Council Toronto Chapter (CCNCTO) and University of Toronto found that of the 31 participants who took part in their February 2022 study, a majority reported feeling wu nai — a Chinese word that means hopelessness and helplessness — in the face of prevalent anti-Asian hate, which ranges from overt racism to microaggressions, whether before or during the pandemic.

Researchers found that like Wong, some found it difficult to identify acts of racism. Others found it hard to speak out against their perpetrators or wondered if hateful incidents were their fault, leading them to stay silent and avoid causing "trouble."

"Every single one of them is a paper cut," said lead researcher Izumi Sakamoto, an associate professor at the Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work. Sakamoto says her comment refers to a line from American comedian Margaret Cho, who has said, "Living in this country as a minority is like dying of a thousand paper cuts."

"It's not that big of a deal to go to [the] emergency room for. But if you get it 1,000 times every day, eventually it's going to break your soul," Sakamoto said. 

Sakamoto says her research team chose to study this topic using a "community-based participatory research" method to make sure they could report from within the community, and just not on it.

"We felt that it was important to engage people more deeply in order to hear stories that are honest and authentic, as opposed to something that people would just respond in a short survey," said Sakamoto. 

While there were similarities in reported anti-Asian racism, the researchers found participants from different generations treat the subject of anti-Asian sentiment differently.