I was an FBI agent who told Parkland parents the unthinkable. Here's what I saw there

The fifth anniversary of the tragic school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida was observed on February 14. Seventeen students and staff were killed.

These victims’ family members were complete strangers to me but yet I felt a love, respect and reverence toward each of them.     I knew that I was about to ruin lives and deliver the worst possible news a loved one could ever imagine. But I had taken an oath to protect and serve my country.  It was time to step up to the line.     Nicole Parker was a Special Agent with the Department of Justice, Federal Bureau of Investigation in the Bureau’s Miami Field Office from 2011 until October 2022. In this role, Parker was responsible for investigating violations of Title 18 of the United States Code of Laws and other federal criminal statutes. 

Five years after this tragic event, it still pierces my soul knowing that each of the victim’s families has a wound that will likely never heal.  

As a law enforcement officer mental toughness is essential but so is offering empathy and compassion towards those we serve.  I never wanted to get to the point where I became hardened or numb to feeling the gravity of the work I performed.  Throughout the course of my FBI career, I was tough yet managed to remain tender-hearted.