I often feel like an invisible caregiver when talking to health-care workers
CBC
This First Person column is written by Jennifer Oujla who cares for her adult children and mother from her home in Edmonton. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.
Why do some health-care professionals feel they have the authority to yell, dismiss or ignore me when I am the one person who their patient depends on full time?
Last winter, my adult child and I went to see a new specialist. I was hopeful we could get answers to why he was having sudden headaches with partial numbing in his face and arms.
The room was empty and quiet when the specialist came out to get my child.
We both rose to follow him. Suddenly the specialist stopped and got in between us.
"Are you his mother?"
"No, I am his guardian and caregiver," I said.
"He is over 18 and does not require you. COVID protocol and confidentiality stuff, you know."
I immediately felt invisible. I wonder if this practitioner has ever been on the other side of this door.
Very gently, I explained that my son is neurodiverse and autistic. He has memory issues and cannot always speak for himself, especially with strangers. So he, the doctor, may not be able to get the information he needs without me.
I could sense a shift in the doctor's demeanour.
"I will be the judge of that!" he yelled, his words carrying an uncomfortable echo in the room.
"Sit back down and I will come and get you if I need you!"
My wide-eyed child gave a half nod when I asked him if going alone with the specialist was OK. He trundled off. I sat back down to cool my burning cheeks.
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