I became a mental health nurse despite my doubts. It was the best decision I ever made

This First Person article is the experience of Naveed Hussain, a nurse at the McGill University Health Centre's Mental Health Mission. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.

Crisis. It's a state I've become all too familiar with as a mental health nurse, but it was still unknown territory the day my patient threatened to kill me. 

It was an evening shift almost two years ago. I had recently joined the psychiatry unit at the Montreal General Hospital and was finding my footing. 

While walking the halls and passing out patients' medications, I suddenly felt a presence close behind me.

A chill ran through me as I whirled around and came face to face with a young woman — a patient of mine who was prone to sudden and violent outbursts. 

Her hands were balled into fists and raised toward me. She began hollering that she was going to kill me. 

I was cornered and alone. Fighting my natural fight-or-flight response, I knew I needed to push aside any preconceived thoughts I had about people in crisis and attempt to de-escalate the situation. 

My patient was experiencing an episode of psychosis and suffering from severe auditory and visual hallucinations. Amid the screaming, I realized she wholly believed I was someone from her past who had harmed her before. 

In my previous 20 years working as a clinical nurse, I'd received training on how to care for people from all walks of life. But nothing could have prepared me for an encounter like this.

So I thought on my feet. Taking an open stance, I put my hands up slowly and reassured her in a calm yet assertive voice, saying that I was her nurse and orienting her in the space we were in. I negotiated with her to take her medications, and the crisis ended without anyone being harmed. 

Looking back, this moment — one that struck fear in me like never before — is when I realized I had the skill and resolve to work in this department. 

It also forced me to confront the stigmas I wasn't aware I held about mental health, even as a health-care professional. 

Caring for people with mental health issues runs in my family. 

Both my father and uncle worked in the psychiatry department at the Montreal General Hospital for more than three decades — my father as a psychiatric aide for 36 years, my uncle as a nurse.