42-year-old mom says painful divorce led to 'beautiful' moment of U of S law school graduation
CBC
As friends and family watched her collect her law degree from the University of Saskatchewan on Wednesday, Saba Ahmad knew she was doing more than just crossing a stage for a diploma.
She had crossed one hurdle after another, from the strain of a traumatic divorce to deciding to travel back and forth between Alberta and Saskatchewan to get her law degree, while raising three kids, two of whom have Type 1 diabetes.
"My heart is full and I'm just very, very grateful for God, for the universe, for my parents and my family," the 42-year-old mother said, her voice choked with emotion.
"I actually didn't realize the strength that I had."
Ahmad got married at the age of 20, in the midst of conversations with her parents about arranged marriage. The pressure to get married was common among families like hers in the '80s and '90s when fewer South Asians lived in Saskatchewan, she said.
"There was this real priority given to preserving our culture, and a way to do that was through marriage."
Over the next 14 years of their marriage, the couple would have three children and build a successful orthodontic business, but she felt as if the success led to a shift in her partner's priorities and a disintegration in their relationship.
Contemplating divorce, however, was a huge stumbling block in her mind.
"I find that oftentimes for South Asian women, the bare minimum standard is as long as he provides for you financially, there's no reason to leave," she said.
"I was very, very scared. But somehow I managed to gather the courage. I thought about my boys and I really didn't want them growing up thinking that women should be treated disrespectfully."
Her search for legal representation wasn't rewarding.
"The legal field is a very white, male-dominated field," she said, adding that she continually ran into conversations with lawyers who didn't understand the stigma associated with divorce in South Asian communities.
"It was really hard for them to really understand and empathize with my situation, which is exactly what invigorated and propelled my desire to pursue a career in law."
Ahmad said she faced doubts about her career plans, particularly when she expressed her interest in pursuing law in front of her husband's legal counsel.