2022, a round-up: Part 1

From Rojabai refusing to make coconut chutney to Akshay Kumar praying for Yogi Adityanath’s long life

January

Elon Musk said Tesla isn’t in India due to challenges with government. Ankita Konwar said that there is nothing Milind Soman cannot do after he completed a five-kilometre run in 27 minutes. Our cook Rojabai refused to make coconut chutney and told us to eat our dosas with sugar.

February

As Meta plunged, Mukesh Ambani and Gautam Adani became richer than Zuckerberg. Akshay Kumar refused to go on Kapil Sharma’s show to promote Bachchhan Paandey. Gautam Adani became richer than Mukesh Ambani. Marimuthu ironed my jeans with a front crease again. A man married 27 women from across 10 states and defrauded all of them. The Rajasthan government handed out phones worth ₹90,000 each to its MLAs but they returned them saying that the state was already under a financial burden. Priyanka and Nick celebrated their first Maha Shivaratri after becoming parents, and shared pictures.

March

Hema Malini watched in shock as a Hunarbaaz contestant had a jeep run over him. The CM of Chhattisgarh carried a briefcase made of cow dung. Because RC was not out-of-stock, I switched to Old Monk for a week. Uma Bharti vandalised a liquor shop. Government staff was granted half-day leave to watch Kashmir Files. Screening of Bachchhan Paandey was stopped by people who wanted to watch Kashmir Files instead. It was our first PM Jawaharlal Nehru who internationalised the Kashmir issue, said FM Nirmala Sitharaman.

April