I’m Jealous of My Friend’s Success. Would Telling Her Help?
The New York Times
A reader wonders whether coming clean about her feelings will soothe her green monster.
My oldest friend and I grew up together in a small town. After school, we moved to different cities for our careers. Now we’re 30. She’s killing it at work. I am not, and I’m super jealous of her. We text all the time and comment on each other’s Instagram Stories. But I struggle to feel happy for her. I know I’m as talented as she is, and we’re both working hard, but I have little to show for it. Mostly, I feel angry when I hear about one of her achievements, even though she’s not a bragger. I’m thinking of sharing my feelings with her. Do you think that might get rid of the burning bubbles I feel in my chest when I think about her? Or am I just a hideous friend?
HANNAH
Let’s hold off on confessions of hideousness until we’ve examined those burning bubbles in your chest — which, by the way, is a pretty good description of the physical sensation of envy. I should know. I feel it frequently. Most of us do. Covetousness is about as human as it gets.
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